First we have to ask - "What do we want out of ourselves?" So, ladies - have we figured it out yet? We are experts at fixing, mending, softening, bridging and tying it all together for those we love. But, what about ourselves? Do we know what we want?
We enable. We help others get what they want - but is this enough?
Why do we work? Because we have to? Because we want to? Money and necessities aside, is our work meaningful and what we want? Or are we too tired at the end of the day to even approach these questions.
In the hours of a day, we try to get it all in...work, laundry, exercise, laundry, meals, laundry... and the day seems very full. But, then we that question pops up and life doesn't seem so full.
What do I want out of life? Is this enough? How many loads of laundry does it take to make one working mother fulfilled? Ironically, as we clean and scrub every inch of our houses to feel fully prepared for the perpetual big events in life (husband's client pool party), we sit down (collapse) at the end of it and wonder about the condition of our mind, emotions, and soul.
We wonder if all the planning, prepping and primping is enough to satisfy the soul.
I think not. I think every women is searching for that completion that only real connections give. We want work that is purposeful. We want to incite change. We want to help people.
I think that is why there are woman "clubs" that exist - book clubs, boot camps, recipe clubs, ladies' night... We are searching for those lasting connections that will feed the soul.
Post party, by myself, and nursing a mild hangover, I get teary eyed and blame the booze. But, the truth is coming out. I force myself to think about the nagging question I cannot shake.
How many other women hide from this persistent question...behind their duties and "full" day - work, kids, husband, house? It is a never ending "to do" list.
But, maybe on that "to do" list, we should add - Be truthful with yourself.
Sit down and write out what you want out of life.
That's what I did and I felt better. I felt cleaner inside and like a working mother with a purpose - something to strive for and achieve... something that will have meaning.
I have a long way to go though. It's so easy to get trapped on the treadmill of menial tasks that someone has to do - like matching socks. I now have two baskets chock full of unmatched socks.
But, it's time to match my desires to my actions and start following my gut.
I want more out of life...and I'm going to start with this blog.
Steph
P.S. I highly recommend the boot camp club...it's amazing what kind of connections you create with people who are willing to sweat with you.
