The Reality of Ideals

One of the many things I dislike about getting older is the slow deterioration of my idealistic perspective of life.  I used to be a hopeless idealist.  Now, whether is it experience that comes with age or living through more trials and errors, I am sliding into a realist.  Life becomes muddled with busy work schedules, deadlines for bills, and getting through the work week.  My rosy outlook on life that good intentions always win has become less absolute and more pragmatic.  Oh, dear... I'm becoming pragmatic in my middle age... like my grandmother Vivian.  She had a realistic perspective on life.  Never pie in the sky.  Never missed the mark.  And, she was respected and feared because of it.

So this leaves me to wonder what do we live for if we know that our ideals are not always going to be upheld?

We live for those who still have those ideals.  We live for the inspirations and moments in life where we see those ideals win.  My son, like most children, is absolute and idealistic.  I try to live up to his ideals of me as his mother. 

Last Thursday, I picked him up from school.  We did our errands and headed home.  Out of nowhere, he makes one of his famous from-the-gut observations, "Mom, every day is a new you.  I like it!" 

"What do you mean every day is a new me.  I'm the same person aren't I?"  I look in the rearview mirror as he's biting his lip thinking.  "No, mom, every day you do something nice, and it's like a new you!"  I'm skeptical that this is his way of putting a positive "spin" to saying, "Gosh mom, I sure am glad you're not crabby today like yesterday."  But, I take it as a compliment.  It's his "ideal" of his mom.  A new mom who is nice every day.  And, he likes it! 

I realize that even though my perspective is jaded and a bit more "Vivian like" as I grow older, I do still get to live up to my son's ideals.  That is an inspiration in life and a great purpose.  I get to strive to be as good as my son so undauntingly believes I am.  Living up to his idealistic perspective is not only inspiring and encouraging, but meaningful and hopeful.   

Life's inconsistencies, burdens, and injustices pale in comparison to the new goal of living up to our next generations "ideals" of us.  They don't see the realistic side of life yet.  And I think that's a good thing. 

In the car, I ask my son if he got a star today.  He gets a star from his teacher, Mrs. Custard, if he does something extra special and well behaved at school.  These stars are given out judiciously and take a lot of effort.  He is excited about his fifth star that month. 

"Mom, how many days are in October?" 

"Thirty-one." 

"I'm going to get thirty one stars this month!"  he announces from the backseat. 

Knowing that this goal may be a little unrealistic considering he won't actually be in school all those days, I hold back my concern.  Why burst a bubble that is full of so much hope and determination. 

I just give my encouragement.  "That would be great bud."  And I realize that sometimes holding a balloon of hope and ideals is more fun to live for than sticking a pin in it with reality.