Monday, April 20th, my 10 year old son stood up at my 60 year old father's funeral to speak about the qualities he admired about his Papa. Though 50 years separated the two, in that moment, both were ageless. I could see the spirit of my dad in my son. He spoke with conviction, tenderly, slowly, not too loud, but loud enough to hear. Each word was carefully chosen. That was my dad to a tee. You listened when he spoke. Throughout that day, I watched a certain mantle fall on my son's shoulders, a need and want to carry on my dad's legacy and remember him the way he deserved to be remembered.
Earlier that week, my son sat snipping away on paper at the kitchen table, letting the scraps fall where they may, in his usual unhurried way. "What are you making, Tyler? A paper airplane?" "No, mom, it's a star for Papa. See?" He held it up... That it was. It could easily pass as a snowflake too.
"That's nice honey. He would have liked that." But, I didn't get it. This wasn't a paper craft my son was making, an outlet for his feelings. Not at all. It was a carefully constructed symbol.
Though cut with scissors from ordinary paper, this star is no ordinary star. Each shape, notch, and rivet represents an enduring quality.
He explained further. "See? This curve around the edges means love. These diamonds mean strength. The fact that this diamond is bigger than this diamond means there is hope in strength." On and on he went about the intricacies of this paper starlike snowflake. "This shape means harmony and love and faith and hope." On it he wrote, "The Star for Papa."
Using symbols and meanings from an age old art form (Pysanki Eggs that he learned in art class) my son helped make a new pain more bearable. I cried with him and held that star, studying each cut. "Really, it means all that?" I asked. He nodded solemnly.
Just as solemnly, in front of family and friends, Tyler stated each characteristic about his Papa that he admired and wanted to be like.
That star is taped to our window. In the toughest, most misunderstood situations, a simple symbol can bring comfort. When the sun shines through it, I see each shape a little better, and it feels like my dad is reminding me to be like him - strong, hopeful and faithful - qualities that last through the ages.
