Tis the Season

Two weeks before Christmas, I walk into American Eagle at the crowded mall with my son, two stepkids and husband.  We stroll through the aisles, and I overhear a store associate similar in age to my step daughter compliment her black studded saddlebag purse, “I love your purse.  I saw that when you walked in…”  she exclaims.  I smile to myself, “Oh, that is nice…”  

Minutes later another store associate compliments my husband on his hair!  “Sir, I like your hair… I like how it’s all spiky.”  “Now this is weird…” I think to myself. 

“Wow… they are really nice here,” I announce to the troop as we exit the store.  My husband responds, “Yeah, they are trained to do that.” 

I didn’t think I heard correctly and repeat the question in my head aloud, “They are trained to give conjured up compliments?!”  “Yep,” he answers. 

I don’t get to the mall much, but when I do, I never remember sales associates shelling out compliments just to make the patrons feel good about themselves so they spend more money!!  They are actually looking around trying to figure out what to compliment shoppers on so they stay longer at their store. 

This begs the question, “Why do people give compliments?”  No wonder society has become cutthroat and jaded!  Because we have turned something so simple and benign like a compliment into a devious mechanism for monetary gain!  What?!?!  

Now compliments have an ulterior motive?  I have to wonder why this surprises me.  I suppose many people give compliments for ulterior motives.  I know my own son sometimes says, “Mom, you’re the best mom in the world!” simply because he wants a chocolate milk.  It never struck me as odd before.  Walking out of a store where we were peppered with flattery in less than five minutes now makes me feel like a victim.  Maybe that’s what flattery is – another form of victimization.   

Here we are shopping for Christmas – where the “reason for the season” is sharing and giving with the people you love and we fall prey to what seems like an emotional robbery.  People probably really fall for this.  I know I did.  I took a compliment for face value.  “Wow… that’s nice that my step daughter can feel good about the purse she picked out…this will really help her 15 year old self esteem.”  But, it’s a sham.  The blatant hypocrisy stuns me. 

Around Christmas we all say “Tis the season.”  But “Tis the season” to do what?  To shop?  Spend money?  Eat?  Drink?  Be merry?  And why does the word “merry” only pop up around Christmas?  Possibly eggnog and yuletides are the only recipe for being “merry,” but that’s beside the point. 

Like the sales associates at American Eagle, the holidays have become a little too “staged.”  We’ve all been trained to meet certain obligations, buy the right gifts, get out the holiday décor and then collapse from exhaustion.  Tis the season! 

It’s no wonder the meaning of “tis’ the season” eludes us at times.  We are too busy untangling the white Christmas lights we should have replaced last year.    

But, I refuse to be a victim.  I want to buy gifts that truly compliment people and say, “I appreciate you and thought you might enjoy this.”  I want to be an idealist and believe that it’s not lost to training agendas of teeny bopper chain stores.   

Tis the season to be merry.  And to shop, eat, give, and love.  And I intend to do just that.